First day at school

Soon my daughter will be old enough for her first day at school.  For a long time I have been dreading that day because I think she is too young. In Sweden we start school at a later age.

My first impulse was to move the family back to Sweden and then everything would be good!

My husband was supportive at first but as the years have gone by I realise we are not moving, at least not before my daughter starts school.

Last year in August I was diagnosed with depression and ever since I have been trying to ask myself what is behind my reactions to different things.

So today I was picturing My first day at school.

I remember parts of my first day at school vividly.

My daycare brought me and some of the other kids to school on this first day, I remember being disappointed that my parents didn’t share this day with me. A lot of the kids at the school arrived with their mom or dad.

Just after we arrived to the school playground we were all allowed to play and run around.

Some boys were running around me as I was heading towards the entrance of the school, (maybe the school bell had rung?).  Then just two steps in front of me two boys ran into one another and both of them started bleeding from their heads. The boys were rushed to the nurse and ended up getting stitches.

Later in the class room we were divided into two groups and given our schedules, we were also shown to our desks, but because we were sharing desks you could not leave anything behind.

We were also given a buddy from the third grade, they were supposed to support us and show us around or be the one you could talk to if any of the older kids gave you grief. I remember not clicking with my buddy. She didn’t care about me.

That’s all I remember about my first day at school and I think it was not a very happy memory.

Just full of disappointment and trauma and the feeling of suck-it-up and grow up!

I do feel sorry for my 7-year-old self, she deserved a better first day at school.

I will do every thing in my power to make my daughter’s First day at school as good as possible, something to remember as exciting and fun and to feel like she is special for being a big girl.